Just watched the movie “Chasing Amy”. Wow. Not sure what to say. It was raw. And for some reason, I’m reminded of something from my past. The story in the movie follows two very different people who for some reason, “get” each other. Perhaps it’s easier to “get” someone else than one’s own self… But, I’m now jumping around a lot…
I was perhaps 17 or 18. Coming home from a trip to Corn, OK. We stop at the local Weatherford, OK John Deere dealer for Dad to see the newest whatever model of JD tractor or combine… I ask him how much it costs. Something like 80 grand. I, being a stupid (did I mention stupid?) high school kid, say something real stupid… “That’s how much the recording console (Soundcraft 8000) I want costs.” My dad, only the way dad can do and only to (typically) me in (typical) private, lights up to me about how could any recording console cost as much as a beloved JD whatever… And why would I want that? Now, to set the record straight, Dad supported me (us) greatly in our rock n roll endeavors. He single handedly financed the band and I’m not sure he ever got fully paid back.
Over the 20 (or more!) years since then, I’ve thought about that incident several times. What has become clear to me is that neither of us really “got” each other. I couldn’t put my stupid high school know-it-all mouth/thoughts aside to take interest in my dad. His whole life, he really wanted to farm. But, he was the youngest of 8, including 4 brothers. He didn’t stand the chance to get the family farm. He was sent off/away to hoe his own field when what he wanted was to hoe the field he was standing on.
And he didn’t get me. My interest in music was just a passing fancy to him. Yes, he supported me. He’s my dad. But, he couldn’t see through my glasses. He could only buy me new ones.
Not sure where this leaves me. What’s my “field”. How can I try to see through the eyes of my kids and truly support them. Train them up in their “bent”. In the end, Holden couldn’t get past Alyssa’s (Amy’s) past. How can I get past my own to “press on”?
