Before you think Im going to start another diatribe on self-deprication, listen me out a bit. I try to flesh out ideas and sometimes, this seems like a good place. Perhaps not… we’ll see.
I’ve been proclaimed the CEO of our young adult ministry at church. This is an interesting group of people. Our church isn’t exactly the cool and hip church for the 20’s and 30’s generation. Yet, we have about 20 or so fairly active people in my particular group and perhaps double that in the entire congregation. Not bad. Perhaps, 15 to 20% of the entire congregation fits that age group. Now, since our church is fairly broad, maybe that’s not a big deal. But, I hear more and more how this age group tends to find “cool” churches post high school. And what little I have shared about our church with others, they find this statistic pretty remarkable.
So, what draws them to our church? Well, the only thing I can figure out is “community.” When a few of them came, or shall I say came back (former high school students), that was the impetus for more of them to come. So, socially, they have found a home. Even if it doesn’t “look” like the type of place they would typically call “home.”
So, what does this have to do with the me I’d like to be? Well, I’m losing them. I’ve sensed it for at least 6 months. Though they look to me to provide leadership, I am failing. I’d like to see myself as a Francis Chan or Donald Miller or a whole host of people who cater to this generation. And though my heart is with them, my abilities aren’t. I wish I could pull out the language, the leading, the inspiration that these rock star communicators bring to the table. And, I will willingly admit that God hasn’t gifted me (at least not yet) with the personality or the wisdom to do this. I do think that Dean and I can do more to reach them on a personal level. Outside the group. One on one. But, again, they tend to be less open. And maybe the group that attends our church is different from the stereotypical group that I picture in my mind.
I don’t want to lose them. I like them. They bring me energy. Life. Wisdom. Connection. And, as I admitted this morning, perhaps I’m not the one to lead them, at least on a spiritual/teaching level. I’m willing to step aside. I’d really like to see them engaged. However, I see them as getting apathetic, perhaps mirroring what I’m seeing in the church as a whole. And I’m a leader there also! Maybe I’m the common denominator here… Oh, there goes the self-deprication!
I absolutely believe God has me right here right now for a reason. And as typical, at least in my life, it may not be about what it’s about. I think I often get in the way of God actually using me. I don’t think for a moment that I have autonomy over God, but, I can’t help but think that I sabotage what is God’s best for my life.
I can only be me. Help me to be the me that You would have me to be.
