Just over a year ago, the leaders at our church decided to fast and pray a day a week for an undetermined amount of time in order to submit to God the feelings of “Spiritual deadness” at our church. Almost as soon as we uttered the issue, the perceived “lack of Spiritual deadness” disappeared. We fasted and prayed for about a month and then moved on.
However, a friend of mine and I decided to keep fasting and praying. Both of us were intrigued by the concept of fasting and wanted to experience that on a deeper level. So, we continued.
I had planned on fasting a day a week for a year. it seemed like a good plan. I picked an “appropriate day”, one that would be most convenient to me and others around me. As scripture points out, fasting should be done in secret, so, I wanted to keep it a secret, both that I was actually doing it at all and even the exact day I was doing it. But, this started to present a dilemma for me. Am I supposed to choose the most convenient day to fast? Is this supposed to be as “easy” as possible?
The days would sometimes change from week to week depending on what was happening. If there was a special lunch or dinner planned for a particular day, I would make sure I’d fast a different day. I’d generally fast the same day each week. The one that was most convenient. The one that would affect the least people and, namely, me.
But, this has generally felt like I was just trying to fit this Spiritual discipline into my schedule; something that made it “easy” or at least easier. I remember having to turn down only one meal during that time. I sat there at a dinner meeting while the others ate a nice lasagne dinner. Maybe that was when I decided to “fit” the fasting into my schedule a little better.
Is this right? Do I even have a grasp on what fasting is all about. I’ve read the Foster book several times. Maybe time to re-read it (again).
However, as typical with me, there is a flip side.
If I were to choose a day, perhaps at random or even choose the “worst” day to fast and then stick to that day at all costs, would that lead to or even be classified as legalism? I can see myself now, Making a big deal of not eating. Not necessarily drawing attention to it, but, certainly in my own mind. Would God be more appreciative of that approach?
I can hear all the responses, “it’s not about the act, but about the state of your heart” to which I’d reply. Yep.
As I look to begin another time of fasting, I wonder where the state of my heart is at and even if I’m ready for that. Do I need to “clean up” before I approach the Throne of Grace? Of course, I know the answer to that. I pray my heart will be ready to listen to what God has to tell me.
