I’ve contemplated writing a post about how my next few posts are going to epitomize the midlife struggle. but, I’m not sure I want to dedicate myself to that. I read those silly quotes about focusing on the future and much of the gist of the midlife crisis is focused on the past. So, I hesitate to write much about that. However, much of what I feel IS about that. In fact, I have long thought about writing about choices I have previously made that I wish would have been different. Or, at least speculate on what WOULD have happened had I done this or that.
Being “past focused”, however, certainly seems wrong. It seems as though we need to constantly be looking towards the future. Yes, let previous mistake shape and guide us, but, certainly not dwell on them to the point of obsession. Unfortunately, as I think about those things, I do tend to obsess. And, well, that’s seems counterproductive.
So, that said…
A couple of weeks ago we sat across the table from twin 40 year olds who were asking Dean and I about the “secret to being 40”. Their friends were getting divorced, wondering how they ended up “here”, going through midlife, making career changes, etc. And, apparently as wise 51 and 48 year olds, we had the answers…
ha.
We spouted off a few things that have worked for us, we tried to be positive and we probably ended up showing a picture of “perfection”, all the while generally lying about what it’s really like. It certainly wasn’t the place, time or conversation to be absolutely honest. Well, not that we truly lied. But, we didn’t mention the struggles. I didn’t talk about being a 51 year old college educated creative and energetic guy now working at some of the lowest salaried blue collar job I’ve had. Not that it’s embarrassing. Well, maybe a little embarrassing. It’s that I feel like I can offer so much more. To myself. To my family. To the world.
So, this all brings me to what has been weighing on my mind a lot lately.
Submission.
We are generally told to follow our dreams: follow your heart. What happens if the dreams are either too far-fetched to be realistic or for some reason or another, just not attainable? Then what? What happens if your dreams have somehow “passed you by”? What happens if you have no dreams? Or just no dreams anymore? Or squelched dreams? Or, you can’t pick between your dreams?
I did a quick internet search and found an interesting article written by a young gal with some great insight for her youth. One quote:
We have no record of Jesus sitting with the disciples in a circle and one-by-one asking them what their dreams are, what would make them feel fulfilled. Instead, he spent a lot of time teaching them how to have the most fulfilling life possible, through submitting their lives to him.
So, that’s it. submission.
What’s that?
