It continues to resonate in my head. And in that continuance, it becomes ever harder to adhere to.
Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.
Luke 9:23-26
That word. That single word. Followed by another single word. It’s like asking a rock to suddenly become asparagus. Deny.
to withhold something from, or refuse to grant a request of
I’m being asked to withhold me from being me?
And then one of my favorite passages seems to contradict this, but, on further read, it’s right in line…
Fret not yourself because of evildoers;
be not envious of wrongdoers!
For they will soon fade like the grass
and wither like the green herb.
Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.[b] Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.Ps. 37:1-6
Why is this so difficult? It’s spelled out, right there. I mean, right there! It’s simple cause and effect. Deny myself, be His disciple. Delight in Him, He gives me the desires of my heart. It’s like, if we could see the end result, the action on the front end shouldn’t be so hard. It should be easy. Right? But I am a rock, sitting at the bottom of a mountain stream. And, it feels like I’m being asked to be that asparagus, growing in a garden bed down in the valley.
