I’ve had to go out and look for a job only once before in my life. Well, that’s not counting early on, when I’d go into a hardware store and come out with a job. The last time was in late 2006 when I ended up working for a speaker/electronics company for 2 months before being hired away by Richard. The last time I was in this position, i vowed to not let happen again what I did then. And that was to not just go out and get something. Anything. And here we are, several months out from being gainfully employed, and I’m in the same boat.
I hate looking for a job. Mostly, because of the main question, “what are you looking for?”
I really don’t know. That may seem like a generalized pat answer, but, I really don’t know. I guess I do know the general “feel” of a job I’d like to have, but as for specifics…? It’s hard to search careerbuilder.com for “a frank position”.
I have a lead. A pretty good lead. A friend of mine is CFO for a medium sized company here in KC and they are looking for 20 new “inside sales” people. Unfortunately, I generally talk myself out of jobs before they even remotely become a reality. Everything about this particular job screams “NOT BYRON” but it’s an opportunity. A place to get the foot in the door and find my way? Perhaps. But as my strategic mind goes down that path, I don’t see a good fit.
However, we are getting to “desperation stage” pretty quickly.
I recently listened to a podcast from Andy Stanley where he staged an achievements vs. character battle. The Western world in which we live tends to totally value the latter, even when or maybe because of forgetting the former. So, I’m supposed to be working on a resume where I highlight all my achievements, but my mind has been recently pushed towards the idea of character.
My employment in the past has mainly come from NOT looking for employment. In fact, when I have looked for employment, it hasn’t been the best situation. Things have generally fallen into my lap. Which is why I tend to not go out and force the issue. However, given the potential of desperation… I tend to always have opportunities. And often, I fail to follow through with those opportunities. I either talk myself out of them or I feel I’m not qualified or I have some other personal hangup/issue.
So what do I do? Dean and I have been doing some counseling and tonight I’m supposed to be prepared with m “box” of where I see myself. Not sure what to put in my box. So, as an exercise, I’ll try to flesh that out. Here. In public.
I see myself as a “go to” guy for a small company doing multiple things as they come up. I like media related things, but, I’m not fantastic at any one thing. I think I could manage things and people well, though I’m not the most organized person. I function best when working with people, in a group setting. Not just a weekly meeting where we decide who doesn’t what and then go out and do it. I function best in working with a team. I like the responsibility of having others to rely on me and me on them. I don’t see myself as a “sales guy” at all, though, I can “sell” things I truly believe in. I can’t sell ice to an eskimo. To take that a bit further, in my working with JK, I didn’t really do any sales. I did, well, managing. Calls would come in and I would manage the schedule. I rarely, if ever, had to make “cold calls” on her behalf. It’s easy to “sell” something that people are calling and wanting to buy from the outset.
I need a creative outlet in my employment. I suppose I “could” have a dumb boring job and have a creative outlet on the side. Not sure that works for me though. I’m a totally integrated person. All facets of my life tend to intersect. And have more and more as I’ve grown older. I like people, but am intimidated when in an unfamiliar environment with lots of people around me who (I deem) are “better” than me.
I like behind the scenes stuff. That said, I do like presenting information in front of groups of people. Though not necessarily a gifted speaker, I feel I do well in a large group setting and find my (positive!) wit to be brought out even more when doing so. I like supporting people. And, as said here many times, I’m adaptable. I like, no, i EXPECT things to change, weekly, daily, maybe even hourly. It can frustrate me at times when I look back at my day and feel like “I didn’t get anything done”. Maybe that’s back to the “achievement” part of what Stanley was talking about. Maybe I should approach my day’s end with “how did I exhibit character?” rather than “what did I get done”?
I like accomplishing things. I especially like seeing the small incremental changes that occur early on in something. I’ve always liked the beginnings of things. I like the moves where we learn how Spider Man became Spider Man. How Iron Man became Iron Man. I like the story of how the recipe for Frito’s were bought for $100 and then sold out of a truck to local stores. I don’t care if they are a multi-billion dollar company now. I like the beginnings. I guess, I’m a sucker for the startup. Most likely because I see myself fitting into that sort of environment.
However, as I’ve mentioned to several people, there is no money in artist development. There is little money in the early stages. And at this point, I don’t have any “startups” going.
And then there’s the details of my life at present. A stupid phrase came to me a couple of days ago. “Bloom where you are planted” which reminded me of the Ephesians 5:16, “making the most of every opportunity”. Not sure I have done that and when one feels like they’ve been uprooted, how can one bloom? It’s hard to see/feel the soil and water when one is uprooted. Maybe I need to be replanted… but where?
