One of the things that pushed me to start writing again TODAY was a lunch meeting with my pastor. I would rate it a meh 2.5/5 kinda lunch. The food was good. Conversation was a bit more forced than usual between he and I. Dean asked is he had Encouraged, chastised or challenged me. I guess I was somewhat expecting some thing like that from him. But, it was just a “check up”. Nothing wrong with that. Once again, expectations.
I’ve been somewhat disillusioned with church lately. Not The Church, but, somewhat just MY church. I feel like I have things to offer my local body which I’ve generally been a part of for 50+ years, but in some ways. they don’t “want me”. A recent change in governance leaves me without a place in the “upper” church management. And things that make me excited just aren’t really something that they are looking for these days.
I guess overall, I didn’t have an agenda either, but, my heart wants to cry out my frustrations without being overly critical or petty. And I kinda had that opportunity, but didn’t take advantage of it.
But then, not sure what I’d really say anyway. It’s not necessarily right to project my personal struggles onto the local body anyway. I do believe he (the pastor) is a God fearing and God laving man who is being led by God to lead us. I had built up this lunch into something that would potentially bring some light onto my struggles. And, it really didn’t. It was extra medium.
It’s not fair to have unreasonable expectations of a simple lunch. At least I didn’t say anything too stupid.
