As (most likely) typical of men going thru mid-life, I’m working at what I finally want to be when I grow up. Unlike many men in similar situations, I feel like I have little to no “career” to look back on. I’m not “coming to my senses” in discovery that the past 25 years in the workplace have left me unfulfilled and now I’m looking to switch careers to something more meaningful. I’m left with looking back at NO career and still trying to figure it all out.
Ok, that’s not exactly a fair representation of myself. In many ways, I feel the opposite… sorta. I’ve documented my “career’ of working with indie artists and some of the highs/lows thereof in this blog. The whole JK thing, was a Neil Armstrong moment for me. How could I top walking on the moon? And I was barely 30. It’s been hard to measure up to that since. Barry always said success was harder to deal with than failure. Unfortunately, of all the things I feel I do well, that’s the one thing that I feel I do BEST. And doing that has been met with disappointment, even during that moon experience and certainly since. And I’ve found it difficult to transition those skills to other workplaces.
My work history has taken me down this path that is/was getting farther and farther away from “me”. Some of this due to my own choices and some due to others. So, 2 weeks ago tomorrow, I quit my job. My current previous job was something I thought would lead to somewhere and it led nowhere. I was exiled twice and generally left to die, professionally speaking. I may go on about that at some point, but, let’s just say it wasn’t an environment that suited me. Deana and I had been talking about me just quitting for a while, and it finally happened.
My primary job is to be a stay-at-home dad. Work with thew schedule, the kids, the finances… Try to make life less stressful for everyone. So far, I’m not sure if I am very successful on that end. I need to pick up my game. But, it has been much better. My secondary job is working at a furniture repair business. I haven’t been an hourly wage earner since the early 1990’s… 20 years ago. Deana has always made double what I do, now, my wages represent a fourth of that and since I’m part-time, an eighth. We’ve typically operated in role reversal mode… and this certainly helps to solidify that.
It has been a blow to my ego. Since I tend to look back rather than forward, seeing the trajectory on this is difficult. Interesting since one of my strengths is STRATEGIC. Perhaps I can see it in others’ lives/situations but can’t in my own.
So, we move backward. Hopefully this move will put our lives and family in a place where we can move forward as the next thing presents itself.
