It’s a great day. Beautiful. And I’m getting a lot of things accomplished. And not too worried about the latest Mac news or even the news news. Came in late to work, planning on leaving early. Overall, a great day.
So, there’s the ubiquitous BUT following a paragraph like that! Things are happening, though I find it incredibly difficult to get things like a simple contract done. I’m actually going thru a phase now where by circumstance and thru the wisdom of others, I’m finding out my likes and dislikes like no other time. And that’s starting, just starting to feed into me figuring out what it is I actually DO!
But, I get frustrated by the spinning. I find an artist that I liken “to the next JK” as text’d to Dean. And then she fails to respond to me. Am I too forward? Not forward enough? Too weird? Too ambiguous? Or perhaps it’s not my end at all! It feels like I should be more plugged in to the culture, the scene as it were, even in my community. Yet, I find the scene either non-existent or not willing to “accept” me. Maybe I expecting someone to point me out and say, “he’s the guy who…” I do stuff and am not even acknowledged for it. Not that I necessarily need the kudos of those around me. But I do want to know if my efforts are making a difference.
Back to why I like to mow lawns here. Instant difference making.
But I’m ok with slow growth. I don’t need that instant knowledge. But, it’s like there’s nothing. Not even a slow movement. Am I even moving the right direction here?
