Ugghhh. There’s always that fine line in my life, well, right now at least. Why is everyone but me really happy about my new job? Ok, so I’m very happy about what it provides. Some stability in our lives. A consistent paycheck. Paid health insurance. Good working environment (well, sorta, if you like gray cubicles… but, perhaps one day, I too can have an office with a window that opens). Ok, so I made that sound worse than it is. It is gray cubicles, but the people are friendly. Right now is a bad time to poll me about it. I’m sure in time, not much time perhaps, my mindset will change. It did just a couple of weeks ago. And then, not sure what happened, but last week was blah. I absolutely hate the way I am supposed to learn right now. “Here, install this and see if it works. Take notes and don’t worry about the fact that you have no clue how to actually run this software of what it’s for. Just play with it and we’ll call you stupid when you don’t do it right.” That’s oversimplified and grossly exaggerated. But, that’s how I feel. And I hate it. I stare, blankly at a computer screen wondering if this is how Joseph felt while in captivity. Feeling like I am 1). totally out of my element and 2). meant for more than this (cue Switchfoot). But then, if we take that Joseph example, wasn’t he the same? What was God doing in his life during that time? And didn’t he endure years, YEARS of that? What was God doing in his heart? What did Joseph need to learn before he was ready to lead the whole world? What do I need to learn? More of that pride thing? I guess what made my week a couple of weeks ago go well was accepting (at least for that week!) that perhaps I was there for something other than what I was there for. Perhaps, God has me there for a reason? OK, my heart/pride can still use some work. But, what if God has me there for some reason? He has a plan and he has chosen me to fulfill that plan. More to say and to postulate, but I must go pray…
