This certainly isn’t original, but, part of the story at this point… You’re headed down a path and then get just one degree off. At first, you can still see the line of the path you were on. You tell yourself, “I can still see the line, I can always get back.” Time goes on and the image of the main path begins to fade; you’re still just one degree away, but, over time, the distance gets farther apart. Then, at some point, you can’t see the original path and perhaps don’t even know how to get back to it.
My life feels like a series of “one degree” disappointments. When I was a kid, I wanted to do one of two things… be a MAF (Mission Aviation Fellowship) pilot or a rock star. In a world driven by faith and conservative values, the MAF pilot would seem to be the obvious choice of those 2. However, I went the “rock star” route, pouring many years of my life chasing after that proverbial dream. It led to some incredible experiences and defined several things in my life. But, you can’t be a rock star forever, unless you’re Mick or Bono or Weird Al…
Dave Neely, the Asst. Dean of Student Development at my alma mater, Tabor College, had many chats with me during my stint in higher education At the time I certainly didn’t “get” what he was saying. Although not discouraging of my rock star dreams, he encouraged me along paths that included music, but, not necessarily as the one in parachute pants. As a music major and certainly not as wise about the music industry as I should have been, I figured it was rock star or band teacher. Little did I know.
Finally, after the band disbanded, I started to realize, or perhaps “live out” would be a better phrase, the post-rock star world. I though I had given up on music… but then discovered music production, management and artist development. My first real experience with this was a “first man to walk on the moon” opportunity from which I came to discover the realities of the music business. It turned out to be not as pretty as it appears.
And then the one degree started.
I “see” the line once in a while, I even get back to it from time-to-time, but, it’s faint, both in terms of proximity and as a real entity.
One could certainly say that that line was for that time and my line is different now. I would certainly agree with that. As an ADAPTABILTY, I would certainly expect the line to change, move, or certainly be fairly dynamic. I’m ok with that. And, I don’t really see the end result as the point. the joy is in the journey. I’m ok with heading to Cleveland only to find oneself in Louisville. But, when you feel like you’re headed nowhere….
Not sure where this trajectory is taking me.
