So, it’s been a rough week. Time continues to fly by, I think that’s good. In a “be careful for what you wish for…” moment, I am working at the job I wanted. I was assured tonight by a gal that works in HR for a company that in 6 months it will be good and in 1 year this “newness” will have all vanished. It was a “nice” response, but it actually helped me. And today, once again, I vowed that this is what I must go through. God has provided an opportunity. And I an thankful. I need to absolutely make the most of this opportunity. So here we are…

In my struggles, I ask God for a sign. Something to HAPPEN! So, I get home, tired of staring at a computer screen all day, and wanting to do something physical. I work on my mower which has been sitting dormant for the winter, with a flat tire from when I blew it out. Repair the tire. Good. Check the oil and gas. OK. No crank, so I jump it from my car. It starts right up. Cool. I take it for a spin. Running OK! Hey, the front yard need to be mowed, set the deck, engage the blades, take off. So I pray, “well God, that answers it. As much as I want a new mower and thought I could justify one, I do need to do the best I can with what I have. So, we’ll just try to make this one work for another season, despite how poorly it mows and how much we could use something to help us bag all the leaves scattered across the lawn all the time.” I turn a corner and then the blades stop working. I disengage them and try to rengage them. No go. I look down and something is obviously wrong with my deck. I look back and see the ground being carved out like a Thanksgiving turkey. I head to the drive, stop the thing and get down and look. The whole spindle has rusted through the deck and is hanging on the ground, held up only by the limp belt that once powered it. Wow. Just that like that, God had spoken. Rush in a order that new mower! Now, this one is clear. I live in a nice neighborhood where people mow their grass. And now I have NO mower! I wait a few days, continuing to obsess about a new mower. Then God speaks clearly… wait. Wasn’t this clear? Wait? Are You kidding?! Why have something like this break only to ask me not to replace it? I don’t get it. We are financially in a large hole right now. And a new mower isn’t exactly what we need… but we do now. So, I’m waiting. The grass may be 10 feet high, but I’ll wait. I’ll probably still obsess. Make it clear.

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